Do not ask me to remember,
Don’t try to make me understand,
Let me rest and know you’re with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting,
Can’t be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone,
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’til my life is done.
– Author Unknown
25 comments
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Imsong Lee says:
May 4, 2011 at 9:17 pm (UTC -8)
JAB:
I like the poem: “I need you”
It sounds like my wife if she could say it.
Thanks for sharing.
Imsong
365andMe says:
May 9, 2011 at 3:16 pm (UTC -8)
“The BIG Brain Puzzle Book”, by Terry Stickels, is a puzzlers’ delight. It has three levels of difficulty with seven different types of puzzles. The types are; creative thinking (thinking outside the box), mathematics (computational skills), logic (analysis and deduction), language (definitions, usage, and sentence structure), visual (observation, spatial reasoning and pattern recognition), wordplay (word and letter manipulation), and knowledge (book smarts and memory).
The book’s cover says “over 200 puzzles that make you think,” and that it does! Also, the book comes with the answers and many of the answers have brief explanations, so you can understand how to solve them. This really comes in handy when you go to level 2. I am not a big puzzler, with cryptograms being my favorite, but some of these I have not seen before. Others were new takes on old style puzzles.
“BIG brain” is an enjoyable, thought provoking, and mentally exercising book. Lots of these puzzles took time for me and that was only Level 1. This book is sponsored by the Alzheimer’s association and includes the ten signs to be aware of and where to get more information. This was a most enjoyable way to spend time exercising the mental muscles.
AlzCarer says:
May 10, 2011 at 9:43 am (UTC -8)
“This book is sponsored by the Alzheimer’s association”
I checked up on that
and ’tis true:
http://www.alz.org/we_can_help_puzzlebook.asp
Lin Cochran says:
June 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm (UTC -8)
You and Bob DeMarco are my heroes, teachers, and guides.
Thanks for your work.
Lin Cochran says:
June 28, 2011 at 9:21 am (UTC -8)
JAB, I hope you don’t mind…I put your blog down as one I follow
LCB
AlzCarer says:
June 28, 2011 at 12:32 pm (UTC -8)
Mind? Lin, if I help in the least little bit, I’m very glad to hear it. (((((Hugs))))), dear lady.
Yuonne Denos says:
June 30, 2011 at 10:58 am (UTC -8)
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an extremely long comment on http://www.alzcompend.info but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say fantastic blog!
Teppie says:
February 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm (UTC -8)
I left AlzCon. I don’t agree with censorship. I always found your info helpful. So here I am.
Stephanie M
Stephanie Zeman says:
February 17, 2012 at 7:32 pm (UTC -8)
JAB just read your last note on Alzconnected I haven’t been there long enough to realize how much information you have amassed and shared over the years. You have a right to be angry and will be sorely missed by the families on the forum. Glad you have your blog to help you continue with your work. Please use my e-mail to keep in touch. You are an incredible person and I wish you well. I’ll keep you and your husband in my prayers.
Stephanie
Sue says:
February 18, 2012 at 6:38 am (UTC -8)
JAB, I have lurked on the AlzCon site for over two years. I learned soooooo much from that board. My mother passed this past Aug. 2011 but I still go to the boards from time to time. I guess I still need that connection. I just hate the changes that have happened to the boards. The closeness is just not there anymore. Thank you for all your help to me and all the others on the board. Is there anyway you can set up a message board on your site here? It is probably not feasible because I know your plate is full but it’s a thought.
I will follow your blog. Again thanks. Sue
Lurk says:
February 18, 2012 at 7:00 am (UTC -8)
I have missed you for awhile on the other board. People would write in their questions, and I would write a brief response and not be able to wait to see what you had to say. Their loss. I’m glad you’re not lost forever–wouldn’t want to come to SD and track you down.
heidi says:
February 18, 2012 at 11:59 am (UTC -8)
Jab
love this poem oh so true I cry with my Husbandsincontencise issues nad not feeling whenhis diaper is wet, so true I do cry for I donot want to see him go toa cather buthe might ,butyes so true. GadI bookmarked this page come here more foten than the alz connect now too.Iknow yuo had aweath ofinf too that you shared withme nad Ihave copied some of thelinks down in my oldcomputer thatcrashed nadburned causeit needed moreramnow have this siet bookmarked too to followyou too heidi
Ken Garrett says:
February 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm (UTC -8)
JAB
I suspect my comments in ALZCom in your “departure” thread was as much an act of defiance toward ALZCom as it was to also keep a connect with you. I am in my 8th year of Caregiving my wife, Jane, 5 at home, and 3 years in a Care Home, alone. My Jane is Stage 7. Plus I have been through all the legals (and still am).
I suspect my defiance toward ALZCom has shown thru as ALZCom changed my password from time to time without notifying me. Perhaps a silent message? But one-upsmanship does not get my attention as much as responsible assistance to those who are need within the Caregiving-Dementia world.
I was chatting with a very old friend in Chicago (I am on the West Coast) this morning via phone and she is learning as her husband graduates to a new Dementia level. From her description of his daily activities I suspect he is lingering around Stage 3 or 4. But I left my friend with the word to “not go it alone”; for I could tell by her settled demeanor the Devil has knocked on her door as yet.
Ken
Susan M says:
February 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm (UTC -8)
Thank goodness I found you. So sorry about the other, but I will be coming here more often. We have friends with family diagnosed with AD, and others in my family showing signs. So far we have dealt with 6 family members with the disease, so AD is always on my mind.
Thank you for your blog and your research. You are needed.
Nicole (Nikki J) says:
February 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm (UTC -8)
I am constantly in awe of your incredible work in disseminating knowledge to your fellow caregivers. You have without a doubt improved the lives of countless patients and caregivers.
Wishing you and your husband peace comfort and strength.
Thank you for all you have done and are doing.
Love
Nicole
leah Friday says:
February 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm (UTC -8)
jab: i lost my mother sometime ago, but while i was caring for her, your posts on the “old alzheimers site” were precious information to me. i had a feeling that things would blow up with the new administratiion. in my experience, it is probably a bunch of well-educated 20-30 yrs old kids who believe they know what is best (without any experience of their own) for everyone.
you are well respected, and i love your presentation style–gentle and to the point. Please don’t let those young turks get you down…
Dazed says:
February 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm (UTC -8)
Jab/Sunshyne, I appreciate you so much. Wherever you post, I’ll try to find you. You’ve been such a wonderful help to me.
Judith says:
February 19, 2012 at 2:42 pm (UTC -8)
Great site but I would not expect less!!! Thanks for the heads up to all.
Anna says:
February 19, 2012 at 2:49 pm (UTC -8)
JAB, I’ve been a ‘lurker’ on alz.org since last April when my mom moved in with us. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. I was going to become a member of alz.org today to add my voice to the choir of people who hate what the new forum has become and to let them know that their actions are now destroying what little bit remains of their once truly helpful boards. I decided they are not worth my time or effort.
As if it weren’t bad enough to have lost the urls to all of the original posts I had scoured through and bookmarked so many times over this past year, they have now become the pc speech police and are shredding what’s left of the valuable information we so desperately need. I can’t take anymore either and have been looking for a new forum for the past few days.
But before I move on, I want to take a moment to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the work you have done and all of the help you so generously gave to me. Even though I am just one of the ‘lurkers’ there are thousands and thousands of others who benefitted so very much from all of the information you shared with us. JAB, you will never know how many, many lives you have touched or how many people out there consider your posts absolute blessings.
To lose such caring, giving, and truly inspirational people such as yourself, Zolly (Ken), and all of the others from the old boards that I have come to respect and look to for answers and help in this struggle, is like being kicked when we are already down. It hurts.
Thank you so much for just being you. I know God will bless you greatly for all you have done and continue to do. I’ve bookmarked you here and will come back to read often.
Sincerely,
Anna in Missouri
Karen (*Cowgirl*) says:
February 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm (UTC -8)
Hi JAB,
I had been off AlzCon for a while so was shocked to learn that you and so many other have left. I don’t like the Nazi admin situation or the sloppy IT on the new site and was thinking of leaving since early January, I will now be reading your blog regularly to continue to learn from your experience and the information you continue to share.
I’m a secondary caregiver (2,000 miles away) but support my sister who lives with my dad as much as I can. She isn’t into the reading stuff so I pass on a lot of the information I find.
Thank you so much for all you have done and continue to do!!
Karen
Iris L. says:
February 19, 2012 at 6:28 pm (UTC -8)
I’m glad I found you, JAB! You made the only reasonable decision available to you after what ALZCon did to you. They were quick to post and defend their actions towards you but they have done nothing to correct the issues with the new board. I’ll find a way to direct new members to this site.
JAB, I thanked you on the other board but let me repeat myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice and support over the three years I have known you. You are a wonderful caring person! I wish only the best for you and your dear husband.
Iris L.
madamme says:
February 19, 2012 at 9:11 pm (UTC -8)
Oh my dear girl..a hurricane is moving through the site since your departure….its a shame that once again that what seems to be youthful ignorance has held sway over common sense and compassion.
I wanted to thank you again for all your help, kindness and compassion during the time we shared on the forum. I shall be advising all that I know to check your blog for any information that the need…
My very best to you dear lady—
and as we say so often..many soft hugs to you…
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}-Mel
Judy says:
February 19, 2012 at 9:32 pm (UTC -8)
I’ve left alz.org also–I can’t stand the board now with its Connection section, its glitches and now its censorship. The worst part is that daily people are losing their LOs to this disease and aren’t getting the support or response they need because the board itself is broken and is driving everyone away.
I continued to read there because mom’s in stage 7 and I needed to see there were others out there who know how hard this journey is.
I’m sorry it came to us all having to leave, but the organization obviously doesn’t understand the people it’s supposed to serve, and especially doesn’t understand the posters who have dementia and who cannot tolerate daily changes in the functioning of the board.
Tracy (younghope1) says:
February 21, 2012 at 8:27 am (UTC -8)
JAB, I am so sorry about what has happened, you are such an asset to the group. Please stay connected with those of us that need you and I think that number to be many. Feel free to e-mail me anytime.
KML says:
February 21, 2012 at 3:10 pm (UTC -8)
JAB:
I made it over. I posted a reply to your post, Good Bye. I’m glad there is still a way to get in touch with you. I plan on staying in touch. Thanks for all you’ve done for all of us. The new board is just so difficult to maneuver. We don’t want fancy, we need straightforward. I’m concerned for the population of users who desperately need that board, it’s just a shame it’s so user unfriendly.
I’ll pop in here from time to time. You’ve been very generous to all of us and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.